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Black Tie International Magazine |
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Meera Gandhi |
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Meera Gandhi / 3 Tips The
Column
Society, Inspiration, Spirituality
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International
philanthropist and global icon Meera Gandhi has played many
roles over the course of her life. As the founder and CEO of
The Giving Back Foundation, Meera has traveled the world in
service of the underprivileged. As a former volunteer at
Ashadaan, she learnt the joy of self-sacrifice from Mother
Teresa herself. As a mother, she raised her three children
while successfully managing her philanthropic, business and
social engagements. |
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3 TIPS TO CREATE A BALANCED LIFE |
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August 11, 2024 |
Tune your thoughts: Take time to pray, meditate or sit in
thoughtful silence for at least ten minutes every day. I
meditate
twice a day for twenty-one minutes and it has transformed
my thinking and my life.
Observe silence: Thoughts are energy waves! Yes, we can direct
our thoughts in a manner that works for us, not against us!
Practice moderation: Eat in moderation, sleep in moderation
and speak in moderation.
In
2010 and 2011, two of the most unbalanced years of my entire
life just before my divorce, I was on planes every week.
Between the travel and the jet lag, I had almost begun to
forget my sense of self.
My daughter Kanika was in Wales, Kiran was at college in
Georgetown, Washington, DC, and Kabir was at Harrow School
in London.
I used to be an intimate part of my children’s lives while
they were growing up. So, when we moved to Hong Kong, having
my
children spread out all over the world was a very
discombobulating
experience for me.
I felt an inner imbalance.
I was worried about Kiran in college and sad that we were not in NYC for
her to come home and visit while she settled into college
life.
Kanika seemed to love it in Wales, but she was young and
impressionable and I wanted to be
sure she
understood that I was always there for her.
I was terrified that Kabir had to attend a boys’ boarding
school at the tender age of thirteen, and until that point,
Kabir was quite underexposed to the world.
So, I was on long-haul sixteen-hour flights from Hong Kong
to
DC, and Hong Kong to London every month to be present for
the
Harrow exeats.
I tried my best to create the environment of a loving home,
and I succeeded in doing that in our London home, which I am
grateful we bought since Kabir was to spend five years in
London.
The travel, the stress of jet lag and the lack of support
from my then
husband began to make me feel unbalanced to an even greater
extent.
One Saturday, when Kabir had started his third year at
Harrow,
I was watching a soccer game at the Harrow fields.
The kids were cheering each other, the English grass never
looked greener and the house parents now seemed almost like
family.
I took a deep breath of gratitude as I saw how strong,
healthy and happy my son was.
I had just returned from Wales after a weekend with Kanika,
and it
seemed like Kiran had found her happiness in after-class
drumming
sessions at the 18th Street Lounge Club in DC.
For some reason that moment changed me, and since then I
have not allowed anything or anyone to unbalance me.
I simply move away from a situation now if it’s not serving
my
higher needs.
Moderation entered my life and I have never looked back!
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# # # |
3 TIPS ON RAISING EMOTIONALLY
HEALTHY CHILDREN |
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August 4, 2024 |
Believe
in them: Believe in your children. Embrace their goals
and needs, big or small.
Trust your children: The trust of a parent goes a long way
towards creating emotionally strong adults.
Express your love: Love your children. Show them in every
action that you love them! Hug them as often as you can!
Before
I had my own children, I did not have any notion of how I
wanted to raise children or what I planned to do to raise
them well.
But the minute each of my children were born, it was an
instinctive
and emotional bond.
I understood how to emotionally connect with my children
above all else.
I woke every child up for school with love, fed them
breakfast,
took them to school and picked up after them.
I listened to their daily affairs and was excited for their
projects and
pop-quizzes. I attended all sports events and after-school
activities.
I enjoyed being with my children.
Being involved unconditionally has helped me nurture my
children into
strong adults.
Once, Kiran brought home her project.
It was not graded and I excitedly asked her: ‘So, what did
we get?’
Kiran laughed and said, ‘You mean, what did I get? It’s my
project!’
‘Yes, same thing,’ I remarked, smiling.
Kiran rolled
over laughing.
‘I got an A, Mom!
Love
you so much!’
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3 TIPS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH
PROBLEMS IN OUR LIFE |
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July 28, 2024 |
Face it directly: Don’t run away from a problem;
that just makes it worse.
Assess the problem: Analyze the issue without letting it
make you anxious.
Keep the mind calm: A calm mind will move in the direction
of a solution.
There
are all kinds of problems in life. Some more serious, some
less so. The fact of the matter is that if it disturbs our
life on any level, then it is a problem.
I have ups and downs when I regard my weight. Sometimes,
during
my weight swings, I end up gaining thirty pounds, which
causes me
great distress. The distress makes me think negative
thoughts, such as,
how did I stray so far and gain so much weight, was I not
thinking
straight? I have to learn to always be present. How am I
making these
poor lifestyle choices?
So the thoughts go round and round, all in a downward
spiral.
Then I calm down and deal with the problem the way I deal
with
all problems in my life. I break it down. How serious is it?
What do
I need to do to fix it, and how long will it take?
Already the problem starts to feel less weighty. Hate to use
a pun,
but it fitted so well here. Can you blame me?
Moving along, in the case of my weight I think—okay, to fix
it, I
need to focus. I need to eat right, make plenty of time for
fresh air,
exercise and sleep early.
Worry makes me gain weight. So sometimes I just need to take
a break.
I plan, work hard, clear out my calendar, and find a place
where I can go on a retreat.
Then, I just go there and focus on meditation and exercise,
eating light, or just juicing for ten to fifteen days.
While cleansing my body, I make active efforts to cleanse
and purify
my thoughts, and make additional plans to change and
simplify my
life and sustain a sensible eating plan until I reach my
desired weight.
Yoga, walking and meditation are my route, and they work
well for
me—helping me to be in shape and reach the right space of
mind.
One such quest brought me to Amansala in Tulum, Mexico, for
three weeks. The time I spent there, living in a beach
shack, has been
my happiest time on this planet. I came to lose weight,
which was
happening anyway, but the opportunity to look at the waves,
from
morning to night, and to feel the water and hear the sounds
continually
quickly brought my body and mind back into balance
with the universe.
The sunsets in Tulum are as stunning as the sunrises; the
stars
at night are endless!
In the process of wanting to fix my weight, my journey led
me to a spiritual haven first discovered by the Mayans about
eight hundred years ago—where in the Roc Bay they set up a
civilization that enjoyed beautiful weather, and had a bay
that was safe for trade and safe from storms. The good
weather, it is said, is due to frequent rain showers.
It was a tonic for the mind and the body.
While dealing with one problem—my weight—I have dealt with
so many interconnected problems.
Taking on less, learning how to say no to some things,
maintaining distance from people who don’t serve a higher
purpose in
life, and lastly, being true to ourselves are the
cornerstones to follow.
Staying true to ourselves usually takes care of many of our
problems!
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3 TIPS TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT
SITUATIONS IN LIFE |
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July 21, 2024 |
Respond
positively: Sometimes, life doesn’t present us with the
best situations, but we have the freedom to choose a
positive
response. This is what makes us a winner.
Be selfless: The path to peace and happiness should always
be above having the upper hand.
Treasure freedom and joy: The choice of personal
freedom and
happiness must be above any other choice we make in life.
I had
a close friend visiting my family home in Dubai. I was
excited to invite my friend into my life and share the
beautiful relationship I have with my parents and my
siblings.
At dinner on the second night, while I was trying to weave
my friend into our family conversations, I noticed that he
was only interested in talking to my brother’s partner about
their country and was oblivious to all our efforts to
include him.
Instead of relaxing and letting people enjoy themselves the
way
they wanted, I felt upset and undermined.
The next day again, a similar situation transpired.
I felt a strong sense of indignation and a simple matter
soon became so ridiculously important in my head.
Instead of meditating and letting it all go, I decided it
was best to end
the friendship at this point.
So, I did, even though it
made me both sad and miserable.
I headed back to New York, to my country home, where looking
at
the river and nature, I realized that I had let other
people’s behavior,
inappropriate as it was, affect me even though I had not
done
anything wrong.
I was taking on their poor karmic behavior upon myself.
The minute I decided not to judge them and to be free of the
negative
thoughts, suddenly the situation did not seem difficult or
even that
important any more.
A feeling of peace washed over me and I learnt that the feeling of peace
was more important than the feeling of being undermined!
I just needed to consciously choose!
The key to dealing with difficult situations is to step back
and
understand what is difficult—step away and understand the
real reason
for worry.
And solutions indeed appear.
It is the simple nature of life.
Every problem has a solution.
We simply have to look for it, stay centered and non -
judgemental.
Today, this person remains one of my best friends and
advisers
in business.
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3 TIPS TO MAKE POSITIVE
CHANGES IN OUR LIFE |
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July 14, 2024 |
Make
small changes: Start small, whatever that means. This
applies regardless of whether we’re making better choices
like increasing physical activities, choosing healthier
foods, or
reducing stress by making time to listen to soothing music
and so on.
Build regularly: Practise regularity. With constant regularity
comes progress.
Act with sincerity: Be sincere. With sincerity, we make our
resolve stick.
Change
is happening all the time, whether we know it or not.
The right actions and the right kind of thinking change
things in a direction that will have a positive impact on
our life.
The year 2013 was tough for me. I had too many things on my
plate: a move back to NYC, renovations at two properties,
children
in London, LA and Rhode Island, difficult divorce
proceedings and a
Foundation that was active in many countries and several
live projects
at once.
I had a fragrance line that was now being packaged and I
did not know how to deal with everything all at once.
Feeling rather
overwhelmed, I stopped to pause one day and decided that I
would
change my thinking and do one thing at a
time.
I would not allow thoughts of other projects and things to
cloud
that moment. It worked!
Soon I was doing one thing at a time; and with clarity of
purpose and
renewed focus, I made great strides in all areas!
When I think of positive and dynamic change, my thoughts
bring
back memories of my mother, Ellen Mary.
Mom is a force of nature!
We moved to Pune, India, in 1969; and found a residence
within the
Institute of Armament Technology campus, which was right
across
the National Defence Academy (NDA).
It’s important for me to name these two establishments as my story
involves both places.
My mother is a devout Catholic. She always took all three of
her
children to church every Sunday.
My father is a Hindu, but he has always supported Mom’s
decision to raise us Catholic and said to us, ‘Good values
are essential, it does not matter which religious base they
are taught from!’
There was no church on the campus, and the cathedral in Pune
was nearly two hours away.
Someone told my mother that there was a Catholic mass that
was held every Sunday at 5 p.m., in a small church across
the Khadakwasla Lake near NDA.
My mother rode a Vespa scooter in those days; a very stylish
Italian scarf fluttered around her head and shoulders.
‘We will have to get to mass, so let’s try,’ she told the
three of us.
‘We will have to get there on my Vespa scooter.’
Mom held Sunita, who was three years old back then and was
standing in the front.
My brother and I sat in the back, holding on tightly.
Crossing the lake over a narrow bridge was bad enough, but
when we got to the village across the river, to our great
dismay, the church sat on top of a steep hill.
‘Hold on!’ Mom said. ‘Let’s say a Hail Mary and get to the
top!’
She geared up and, sure enough, got us to the top of the
hill. She
did this for three years and in all kinds of weather.
Not once did we doubt that Mom would not be able to get us
there, and then back, in one piece. She was driven by the
conviction of her faith and knew that it was the right thing
to do.
I would get to mass and listen to the Lord’s word each
Sunday
and we are so much stronger for that.
In these ways, we learnt that any situation can be overcome.
There was always a solution and there was nothing to be
afraid of.
Doing things to make positive changes in our lives is
essential, and
Mom gave the earliest example of this when I was just seven
years old.
This memory brings a huge smile to my face even now; my
brother
and sister just love talking about this adventure which we
enjoyed
together every single Sunday!
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3 TIPS ON HOW TO BE MINDFUL ABOUT
OTHER PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE |
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July 7, 2024 |
Avoid
hurting others: Always make sure you are not hurting
another person in your life, whether you believe he or she
deserves it or not.
Be deliberate: Be aware of your choices and then be fearless,
because when we are aware and fearless, we lend a lot of
confidence to the people around us.
Mind your legacy: When we leave this planet, the only thing
we leave behind are our good deeds. So, it’s very important
that we are mindful of other people because it is the only
sentiment we leave behind when we’re gone.
Life
has taught me that we are all intrinsically connected.
We cannot hurt another person without hurting ourselves.
Recently, I have been renovating my home.
I have a team helping with the construction. I am always
mindful of their needs and make sure that they are safe
while working.
I am mindful that they eat on time and don’t stress
themselves on the job site.
As a result, they have delivered impeccable work. Deliberate
actions, along with fearless and honest leadership, inspire
people to give their very best. Furthermore being mindful of
other people’s needs creates a win-win situation for
everyone!
I grew up in India, surrounded by buas, phuphajis, taijis
and taujis,
mausas and mausis, and I knew all my cousins.
In short, I grew up with a huge, loving extended family who,
I felt, supported and loved me very much.
When Aditya Kishore Bhartiya, my avant garde phuphaji,
passed away, and rather too young as he was only sixty-three
years
old when he died, I recall how at his funeral in Delhi
people did not
speak about how successful he was and how much money
he had made.
They talked about how mindful he was while dealing with
everyone,
young and old.
Our legacy, in truth, is only the impact we leave on those
around us. So let us be more mindful of them, and ensure
that we understand their needs better.
Also, one of the people I most admire in the world is Dr
Mohammad
Yunus. I had the privilege of meeting him at the Times
Center, New
York, where he was speaking at a New York Times event.
My three children were with me, and he took his time
speaking
to them.
Cultivating the younger generation is something he believes
in, just
as much as I do.
I have learnt many lessons while following his journey in
Bangladesh,
especially through the manner in which he understands the
power of
every human.
When he started the Grameen Foundation, which gave unsecured
loans to the poorest people in Bangladesh, they used the
money wisely and always repaid the loan, unlike what his
critics had predicted.
These were group-reinforced loans, so people within the
group looked out for each other and the loans were always
repaid.
The businesses grew, and so did the confidence of the
empowered
new business owners. The upliftment of everyone is the
upliftment
of ourselves—as we are all connected.
It is true that when we help another person grow, we grow
ourselves,
even if we are not aware of it.
Thus, it is supremely important to be mindful of all those
around us, and recognize their needs as well as our own.
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3 TIPS ON CREATING A BETTER SITUATION |
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June 30, 2024 |
Act
consciously: Be conscious about every single action
you take.
Fulfil what you say you will: When you vouch to do something,
make sure you deliver on that promise.
Commandeer your situation: Remember that we have the ability
to change our situation through our thoughts and emotions.
You
are a powerful being. It’s true, you are. Even though it may
seem unlikely at times, you have the ability to influence or
even create a situation around yourself.
Look around you, understand that many of the elements that
surround you are optional.
Be kind, be noble, but also be happy; it will only add to
the
happiness of others.
Fine-tune yourself, and fine-tune the circumstances around
you, no matter how long it takes.
There have been times when several people have been placing
their demands on me—seeking my time, energy and resources.
It was particularly stressful for me when I was going
through my divorce in 2013. I was simultaneously trying to
make sure my three beautiful and amazing children were
unaffected by the worst of it.
I wanted to move back into my townhouse and recreate their
childhood home, decorating their bedrooms so they could
continue their transition from children to young adults
smoothly.
Keeping so many balls up in the air with construction,
paperwork, the Giving Back Foundation, my recent life in
Hong Kong, London, Mumbai, Delhi and Dubai was at times too
much for me.
My parents were 100 per cent by my side, and so were
my children, but my confusion and sadness carried on for
three years.
This is when I was introduced to Sadhguru by my close
friends,
Shilpa and Yakub Mathews, in 2016.
I started meditating twice a day and soon, I began to calm
down and approach everything with the understanding that it
was all a part of the universal divine consciousness.
Immediately, I could sense a mental shift, and every
situation around me—big and small—began to feel better and
better!
I would say my mother is the best example of how to create a
better situation around oneself.
Having come over to India from Ireland in 1959, when
mixed-race marriages in Saharanpur and small Indian cities
were still unheard of, my mother was not worried.
She made the best of her surroundings with whatever little
she had.
When Dad sailed away to sea and she was with her in-laws in
Saharanpur, where most people only spoke Hindi,
Mom was not perplexed.
She started learning Hindi and willingly went into the
marketplace with any relative who asked her to go with them
to do errands.
Gradually, she began to wear a salwar kameez and other
traditional clothes; she had them tailored so that they
would fit better.
If she was homesick, she would go to the local British
bakery
in Saharanpur.
Her father was a baker and a good pastry reminded her of
Dublin, and her happy childhood and loving parents.
Throughout her life, Mom has always created the best
situations around herself instead of giving in to negative
situations.
Her positive way of dealing with everything gave her a sense
of power and control over her own life, even though many
could have said that being married at a very early age, and
staying with her in-laws in a small town in another country,
with no common language and miles and miles away from her
homeland, could have been daunting.
But not for Mom. She won hearts, left, right and centre.
She went to church every Sunday, introduced Christmas
to her Hindu relatives, and had the whole clan accompany her
to the
town for an ice cream on Sunday evenings—a tradition Mom started
in her new home. My father was
so proud of
her, and here they are,
happily married after sixty years!
Creating a better situation for ourselves around us is
contagious.
It has a long
shelf life and makes everything better
for all those near us! |
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3TIPS ON HOW TO RISE ABOVE A
CURRENT SITUATION |
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June 23, 2024 |
Find your way
out: Even if you think you are at rock bottom,
remember there is always a way out.
There’s always a solution: For every problem, there is
definitely
a solution. This is the yin and the yang. It is the way that
the
world works; it’s as simple as that!
Visualize the solution: If you can visualize a solution,
you can find it.
Everyone
gets stuck in a rut at times. The important thing is to know
how to climb out of it.
I have dealt with several difficult situations in my life,
but
probably none were as difficult as the year 2016, when all
should have
been smooth sailing. On paper, it all seemed well.
My divorce was behind me and my children were doing well.
I was living in my townhouse on Park Avenue in New York
City.
The Giving Back Foundation’s work was more meaningful than
ever, and a number of magazines, newspapers and editors from
around the world were reaching out and calling at the office
to feature me
in their editorials.
It was gratifying and validating.
However, my soul was not at peace. I was doing too many
things and
was being pulled in too many directions. I was traveling too
much,
attending too
many events and it was all making me feel dizzy, exhausted
and unclear.
One evening, I lay down to sleep, and the next morning, I
did
not want to get out of bed. The thought of another busy and
crazy
day had started to make me feel like my life was not truly
focused
on what should make me happy. I sat down and began to ask
myself:
What do I really want to do in life?
Just then, a close friend called and said he wanted me to
host a
Diwali party at my townhouse; Sadhguru would come too and
deliver a talk there.
I invited one hundred and twenty of my dear friends and
that evening, I received my answer.
During the talk, Sadhguru said thoughts are energy fields.
Think about what makes you joyful, and then, proceed to
accomplish your goal. But clarity is essential.
I started meditating, calming down, and ended up producing,
scripting, and airing calming information in the form of an
entire
season of television—thirteen episodes with the B4U TV—
addressing topics such as peace, joyfulness and happiness.
That was the beginning of understanding who I truly was, and
possibly what my true mission in life was about.
My takeaway was that no matter how much despair we feel, the
answer to the problem is always available to us.
We must seek it wit patience and conviction, reminding
ourselves
that no matter what, things will be all right if we conduct ourselves in
the correct manner.
There are multiple solutions to every problem.
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3 TIPS TO STAY ACTIVE |
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June 16, 2024 |
Do
something physical: We all know how busy our lives can
get. We’re commuting, working long hours, getting up early,
getting home late. However, it’s very important to be
active.
So, just go out and do something physically invigorating, no
matter what time it is, morning or night.
Do what you love: Do something that you love. Dance to music,
go on a bike ride, practice martial arts, or do yoga. Just
do
something that you love doing.
Work as a team: Do something with a team. Studies have
shown that activities that are done in a team have a
longlasting impact on our mind and we tend to keep up too.
What
is good for the brain is good for the soul!
Health
is one of the most important gifts a person can enjoy on
earth. It is almost a passport to happiness. And while our
bodies are resilient testaments to the universe’s passion,
our health can often be fragile. Taking care of ourselves
is, indeed, our duty towards the divine.
When I was growing up in Mumbai as a teenager, one of my
closest friends was Seema Poddar Agarwal. We used to bike to
the
Colaba sea pool in Navy Nagar. After biking, we would swim,
have a
Rodger soda and bike back.
On the way, we would talk about things, mostly nature, as we
both loved watching birds, looking at the ocean waves for
hours and observing the Bombay crabs in the sand.
This had a profound effect on my psyche. I understood that
when we exercise and move ourselves to do things that bring
us closer to nature, we are joyful!
Today, when I speak to groups of young people, I find myself
telling
them to do things as a team, to find joy in movement, and it
all goes
back to those many happy hours of biking in my youth in
Mumbai!
Staying active by doing something we love reminds me of the
year 1998. I fondly remember my family life in Mumbai in
1998 when
being active meant taking a very unusual step! Kabir, my
youngest
child, was a year old and I was looking for a preschool for
him.
We looked at West Wind but it was full, and another
prospect, a woman
starting a new preschool in Mumbai, had to return to New
Zealand.
With the days passing and no preschool for Kabir, I decided
to start
one myself. I wrote to a preschool in New York City to
request a
curriculum and started hiring teachers in Mumbai.
I put the word out and had twenty students right away; and
then I had to close the roster. I had a fantastic baby
nurse, Sister Pramilla, who kept medical records for all the
children (mostly from overseas and so it was really useful),
and a local doctor, Dr Balsekar, who would come in to meet
the international mothers so they knew him and where his
clinic was in case of any emergencies.
With a fantastic curriculum and inspired teachers, I started
the
International Playschool of Mumbai and it was a very
rewarding
experience for me, the teachers, the students and the
parents as well.
There is a funny moment from this period which I absolutely
must
share with you.
The children were picked up at 11.30 a.m. from the preschool
every day.
On Fridays, we had started noticing that the driveway was crammed with
cars from about 10.30 a.m. onwards.
In the beginning, I paid no attention to it, but soon it
became clear
that many of the nannies and drivers came earlier on Friday
as they
wanted to meet or get a glimpse or a photo with Vivek
Vaswani
from Bollywood.
Vivek was a classmate of mine from high school and he
taught speech and drama every Friday at our preschool! It
was quite
funny, and even though we requested the cars to arrive only
at 11.20
a.m., this routine remained the same over the three years I
ran
the preschool.
I am in touch with many of the children I taught as well as
their
parents. They have all gone on to become strong, intelligent
members
of society.
I think of those three years of the International Preschool
with great gratitude and pride! Needless to say, those tots
kept me
constantly on my toes, and I never felt more active or
healthier!
If there is a lesson here, let it be that there is no shortage of
activities
we can undertake to stay active. If you can’t find the right
one,
start it yourself!
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3 TIPS TO CELEBRATE LIFE |
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June 9, 2024 |
Be
aware of life: Actively think about your life and choose the
moments you want to celebrate.
Celebrate others: Make sure others are celebrated; when we
choose to celebrate others, we automatically feel a sense of
lightness, a sense of joy and even a sense of euphoria.
Choose positivity: Celebration is a state of mind. Choose to
be positive and choose to celebrate every moment.
It’s in our hands.
Life
is precious. This is said so much that often these three
words lose their meaning and the sentiment is taken for
granted. But we must concede that life is indeed precious,
and in the vast
expanse of endless space and infinite time, life is also
rare.
Thus, we should take time out of the pursuit of routine life
to remember to celebrate this beautiful gift of life by
looking at nature and treasuring
each and every moment.
For my twentieth birthday, I expressed to my father that I
wanted
a family picnic on Badkhal Lake in Delhi. I thought it would
be a
small group—my brother, sister and my parents—picnicking by
the
lake. January in Delhi is usually very pleasant. The weather
is perfect,
the worst of the winter has passed and the season dips its
first toes
into spring.
As the days rolled up to 28 January, my birthday, there
was some secrecy in the house. I had not been involved in
all the
planning. The day of my birthday arrived and there was a
huge bus
outside our house.
My bedroom in Moti Bagh faced the main road,
so I was the first to see the bus pull up.
‘Strange,’ I thought. DTC buses usually stay on the main
road.
Then, my parents came out and when we got into the bus, Usha
baji, one of my favourite aunts, wished me ‘Happy Birthday!’
in a shrill
voice, brimming with excitement. ‘We are all going on a
family picnic
to Badhkal Lake.’
Surrounded by my family and extended family, my parents had
created this extraordinary celebration for me.
Complete with our helpers, the gas range and the fresh food
cooked on site, it was a marvelous day of celebration that
stands out as a particularly memorable day in my childhood.
We swam in the lake, ate and chatted merrily and then,
exhausted, we started to head back around six o’clock in the
evening.
We arrived home at 8.30 p.m., and soon, I tumbled into bed
exhausted, happy and full of gratitude to my dear parents
who always went the extra mile to make our birthdays so very
special!
Here’s to life and celebration!
|
|
# # # |
3 TIPS TO CREATE
RAINBOWS IN LIFE |
|
June 2, 2024 |
Love
all beings: Love in action is like a beautiful rainbow
without an end.
Accept everything: Sound, light, breath—everything on the
planet vibrates on a certain frequency. When we accept
things,
it only means that we are choosing to vibrate on the same
frequency as the situation. This is a rainbow in formation.
Serve from the heart: Serving from the heart creates a rainbow
wherever we go!
In
August 2018, I was in Jupiter, Florida, enjoying some rest,
exercise, yoga and meditation.
My youngest child, Kabir, had just graduated from Harvard
and my daughters were happily at work—one of them in the
field of music, and the other lobbying for organic
farming—as they were determined to contribute to the world!
With my children settled, I felt that my primary
responsibility as a
mother had been met and that I needed to continue working
globally
and use the Giving Back Foundation better to serve more
sections
of humanity on various levels.
But how? I felt stuck. No donations were coming into the
foundation, and while my TV show was moving forward with
thirteen episodes on B4U TV, it was still not quite the
correct format.
Also the fragrance line that I had spent millions on
developing was not in the right place to hit the market.
As I was sitting outside on my patio overlooking the golf
course,
I noticed how everything looked fresh and green and renewed.
It had been raining all night. Just then, the biggest
rainbow I had ever seen appeared in front of me. It was
mesmerizing. In that moment, I was totally awestruck!
Time stood still and I don’t know how long I spent looking
at
the rainbow!
It was my instinctive Noah’s ark moment when God said to me,
‘Move forward in faith, my child.’
I realized that I did not need donations to continue my
mentoring work. COVID-19 had stoked concerns about mental
health issues and the tips
I had been posting on Instagram had started to resonate with
a lot of people.
The rainbow showed me that I was on a simple, but correct
path; and that it was the best way I could help people.
Since then, rainbows have been my guiding light; the signs
are
everywhere when I need reassurance.
Now, I want to create rainbows for everyone around me so
people can grow, be happy and feel fulfilled just like I
feel! It was a simple shift.
So, look for your sign and let it guide you further!
There are signs everywhere to guide you,
as Oprah Winfrey attests in her book.
|
|
# # # |
3 TIPS ON HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
WITHOUT BEING UNKIND TO OTHERS |
|
May 26, 2024 |
Be
firm but kind: Be clear about what you want,
but also be mindful of others.
Have clear intentions: Know within yourself what you need
to do and think of ways of doing it without hurting anyone.
Set personal boundaries: Personal boundaries are silent but
strong assertions in themselves.
We
are all on a personal journey towards fulfillment.
Thus, it is inevitable that our desires brush against the
desires of someone else, and so, create conflict.
We must remember that such conflicts provide us with an
occasion to empathize with our fellow traveler, and not see
this as an opportunity to engage in anger or any negative
emotion.
We can still get what we want, and we don’t have to hurt or
put anyone down to get it.
Boundaries are something I find very hard to execute and
live
by in my own life.
By nature, I am a kind person who can be firm, but too often
I am swayed to help others beyond my real personal capacity.
This has caused me a lot of stress, as it has often been
hard for me to say ‘no’ when people have reached out with
their problems.
Other people’s expectations make saying ‘no’ a little harder
for
me.
Being CEO of the Giving Back Foundation, I have experienced
some non-thinking people say things like “You are a giving
back
person, how can you say no to me?”, or “Why are you telling
me
that I am late for an appointment?”, or “What, can’t you
help me?”.
I have to calmly explain to myself and then to others that I
don’t often
have the bandwidth to help.
Sometimes it is as simple as starting a meeting on time to
help complete the meeting in the given time.
The latecomers have been annoyed by this but over the years
I have
realized that the best way forward is to stay on the path of
truth.
It is the correct path.
I have set certain personal boundaries for myself.
They are silent but firm.
For example: if I have been up since 5.30 a.m., have worked
a full day and am exhausted, and after dinner my friends say
it’s only
11 p.m., let’s go to such-and-such new place, I politely
decline and
go home to rest, no matter how much I am pushed.
I definitely feel that I made the right decision the next
day!
Boundaries are not about upsetting other people; they have
more
to do with making the correct decisions for ourselves.
Once we know and understand this, it’s both a joy and an
easy process, and usually, all parties gain through this
process!
When I think of being assertive without being unkind to
others,
my thoughts go back to New Delhi in 1984. Padmini Lulla was
the
leading agent to scout amateur talent for print and movie
ads.
I had done a number of projects with her successfully,
including Pan Ketchup and Hero Cycles. She called me up one
day and said that she had a very lucrative modeling campaign
for me, and the four people she
had picked had to meet the sponsors at her office.
I got there quite excited, but I did not know the product.
When I arrived, they explained that it was for a popular
Indian
brand of cigarettes.
I immediately said, ‘I am sorry. I cannot do this ad as I
believe
that smoking is very harmful to our health.’
Padmini looked at me, smiled and said, ‘Are you sure? This
job
pays ten times more than the other assignments you have
done.’
‘Yes, I am very sure,’ I said.
‘Okay, then. No worries, we will try to get another model
here to
meet the sponsors today. Here is your travel fee and
thank you
for your time.’
This is how I have set my personal boundaries, and Padmini
Lulla,
who being a real professional, totally respected that.
So will others in her place. Padmini, as I have been told by
my friends, has spoken to others about this incident and
said that she has always respected me for my decision.
|
|
# # # |
|
3 TIPS ON HOW TO KEEP GOALS REALISTIC |
|
May 19, 2024 |
Evaluate your goals:
A goal
must
excite you, not overwhelm you.
Keep your goals exciting: The drive to accomplish a goal
should motivate you.
Nurture goals: Remember that goals are important for survival
and a healthy self-esteem. Nurture your goals carefully and
stay focused.
Goals
are a simple way of organizing our desires, ambitions and
aims in life. It is easy to be swept away in the whirlwind
of life and lose track of what we want to build towards.
We make goals to remind ourselves to stay true to the
decisions we take in our psyche.
In January 2018, I decided that I needed to set a multitude
of goals for myself. Each goal I set would have taken a year
each to
complete, but I decided that I would work on all of them
simultaneously.
After all, each goal was connected to the other in some way.
Each goal was intensive:
The first was developing branding and packaging for a new
mission-based fragrance line I wanted to launch, the second
was renovating my home in Manhattan, the third was
renovating another home in the country, the fourth was
spending time with my grown kids who by then had their own
apartments across different cities in the US, the fifth was
responding to a television show sizzle that some
producers had
approached me for, and lastly, maintaining a healthy weight
and planning to get enough sleep every night.
To these, I also added another goal.
I wanted to explore another partnership for the Giving Back
Foundation in upstate New York.
I was very happy when I wrote down my goals, but as I went
through the year and started achieving some of them, I
realized that
I was putting less time into my health, sleep and exercise.
I had listed my goals, but I had not prioritized them well
enough.
I began to feel tired, even though I was quite excited that
I was making good progress with the things I had set out to
do earlier in the year.
So, I went back to my list and started reorganizing those
goals.
Prioritizing them better.
Putting family, health and wellness first.
The year was super smooth after that!
The excitement of the journey was back and I was no longer
focused on the destination.
The key is to do our best every moment, and the outcome will
automatically be good.
I felt good. I knew that my goals and life were back on
track!
|
|
# # # |
|
3 TIPS ON HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS |
|
May 12, 2024 |
Pause
and think: Don’t react. Pause, take a deep breath and
think before you act or speak.
Let go to gain: The more we let go, the more we may gain.
We are all connected: We need to always remind ourselves
that we are connected to everything else. When we remember
this, conflict tends to dissolve automatically.
We
live in a fast-paced and interconnected world where
conflicts are bound to occur. One evening, I went for dinner
with a colleague.
We had been working on a joint project all day, after which
we decided to go have dinner at a new restaurant that had
opened nearby
to treat ourselves.
We went back to our respective hotels, freshened up and met
at 7 p.m. for dinner.
During the course of the project, I had been independently
working
on a book that was finally taking an interesting shape and I
felt it
would be of good value to readers.
I was considering translating it into a couple of languages
and so had many thoughts swirling in my head, all unrelated
to the project that I had been working on all day with my
friend.
We were seated at Maxim’s restaurant owned by Elin Nordegren,
the amazing ex-wife of Tiger Woods. The restaurant was
filled with the buzz of interesting people.
I started talking excitedly about my book, but it seemed
like my
friend was not into speaking about it. I changed the topic.
After an hour, the book forced itself back into my mind and
I started talking about how I would be going to India on a
health trip, meet the publisher there, and even explore the
possibility of translating it into several languages
including Hindi, Marathi, Tamil, Telugu, French, German,
Chinese and Russian.
I asked him, ‘What would be a better city in Russia for the
launch—
Petersburg or Moscow?
That is, if we do end up getting the book translated.’
My friend, who is from Russia, suddenly grew very silent and
seemed upset. Upon asking him what the matter was, I
realized that
he had misunderstood me. He thought that I was asking if it
was even
worth
launching in either of those two cities!
He, naturally, felt upset and undermined. All the while,
that was the furthest thing from my mind!
So, here was a conflict. First, I had to take a huge breath
and
pause to fully understand what he was mad about.
The answer was clear: he had misunderstood; I was truly
excited about the possibility of selling my book in Russia
while he thought I was dismissing Russia.
My actual excitement had not been clearly communicated!
I had to let go and take time to explain that I really
wanted to
publish the book in several languages as I had friends all
around
the world.
As soon as I did that, my friend was swimming with ideas
about how to promote the book on Russian Instagram,
especially as
he has many Instagram friends who are both stars and
influencers.
So, the moment I let go of his outburst, I gained more
ground with my
friend who then shared some really useful inputs with me.
From this experience I learned that when working on
interconnected projects with people, conflict has to be
resolved quickly to move on to other projects that are in
progress.
Letting go of another’s outburst is a really sensible,
mature thing to do.
I think I do have an affinity for problem solving.
I learnt to do this at The Cathedral and John Connon School
in the twelfth standard.
We had all been studying rigorously for the upcoming board
exams, so my classmate, Vivek Vaswani, suggested that we
bunk the last two classes and go out as a group to see a
movie.
I was a bit scared, especially as I was the head girl of the
school, but I
was soon convinced. Other friends were going and the movie
was only
an hour and a half long, after which we would come back to
oversee
the house games for the juniors and all would be fine!
First note to self: if your intuition says there might be
trouble, do
take a moment to listen to it.
That day, I did not listen to my intuition and about a dozen
of us went for a movie. Shalini D’Souza, Sheila Juwadkar,
Vikram Gandhi, Phiroz Dubash, Vispi Patel, Nitin Jasani,
Somi Hazare and Deven Khote, Anurag and Tarang Jain, and
myself.
The movie was funny until suddenly one guy who had been
sitting
one row ahead of us said that that we had put our feet on
the seat
in front of us, and that our shoes had been touching his
seat for the
entire duration of the film.
His brother stood up and said they were offended and that
they had to take back their honour.
In a flash, he ripped Phiroz’s shirt while the other
moviegoers
shouted at us to shut up.
The manager arrived and asked us what the problem was. Somi
immediately took charge. He told the manager that these were
his
rugby friends whom he had not seen in a long time.
Somi gestured to us to keep filing out of the theatre.
Outside, Somi thwarted every effort by the goons to harm us.
‘Hey,’ he said to the gundas. ‘What are you doing tomorrow,
after school? 4 p.m?’ They said nothing.
‘We’ll meet you in front of the wall outside our front gate.
We will have a surprise for you.’
By this time, I was wondering if there was more drama
unraveling
on the screen in the theatre, or before me in real life!
‘We will be there,’ they said. ‘We are not afraid of you
stupid,
private school types and we’ll take your girls too.’
Somi, smiling throughout, said, ‘Okay, till tomorrow!’ and
we ran,
cramming into two taxis and rushed back through the Bombay
Gym
squash courts side entrance so we could sneak back into
school.
We were fortunate that no teachers were upset. However, the
difficult situation was handled by Somi.
He came up to each of us and collected one rupee, fifty
paise, ten rupees and so on, and then he asked the snack guy
at the gate to roast his best peanuts and chana with onion
and lemon and cut the best raw mango, ‘kairi’, complete with
salt and chili.
When the guys arrived, ready to fight, Somi had these snacks
ready and soon they were eating them and drinking chai!
Rumour
has it, they invited Somi to play in their Marine Lines
kabaddi team!
So, we truly have thousands of ways of resolving conflicts!
|
|
# # # |
3 TIPS TO BUILD A SUCCESSFUL
ENTREPRENEUR BUSINESS |
|
May 5, 2024 |
Identify
your passion: Identify what you are passionate about!
Be astute: Know when to enter and when to exit the market.
Don’t hurt others: Make sure you don’t hurt anybody
in the process of reaching your goals.
Success
can mean different things to different people.
To some, it may encompass financial accomplishments
or business triumphs.
To others, it may mean an unburdened heart and
the knowledge of a positive impact delivered by one’s
actions.
The most fortunate of us figure out how to succeed at both!
I was speaking to the Greek tycoon Makis who has built a
very
successful global business of clothing and dyeing and has a
significant
presence in India as well.
The Garibaldis of Florence held a dinner for
me in Capri, where Makis and his beautiful wife were seated
next to
me. I asked him about how he started his business, and
during the
course of that dinner, he gave me a masterclass in
entrepreneurship,
which has helped me immensely in my own pursuits.
Makis told me that the way to build a successful
entrepreneurship
business is to first be clear about what you want to build.
Then, be
prepared to work day and night to accomplish your goals.
Third, make
sure you trust your core people.
If they disappoint you by repeating their mistakes despite
your timely interventions and requests, replace them
immediately!
Finally, never hurt people in the process of achieving your
goals.
The most important thing that he shared that evening in
Capri
was that I should know when to enter a business and when
to exit it.
Always have an exit plan at the back of your mind.
Never be too arrogant to think that you will be needed
forever.
Things change, tastes change, technologies change,
and we have to keep all this in mind.
The one thing that should not change is your passion for
your idea.
You must bring that to work every single day |
|
# # # |
|
3 TIPS ON OWNERSHIP |
|
April 28, 2024 |
Ownership
is a myth: While we are on this planet, we have to
understand that we never really own anything, not even real
estate. When we pass away, we leave it all behind.
Ownership is transient: We have to understand that our
belongings are loaned to us by the universe to enhance our
lives, and so, we should cherish the things we have.
Welcome joy, not stress: We should not be attached to
things.
We should enjoy our belongings as their purpose is to bring
joy into our lives and not stress.
Let’s
examine our relationship to material things.
We own things because they connect us to people, to places,
to life experiences.
They provide shelter, safety and enable us to take care of
ourselves and accomplish whatever goals we set out to
accomplish.
These things are useful while we are alive, but we must
always remember that the minute we die, they are of no use
to
us whatsoever.
The ownership of things gives us a sense of status and
safety. This, in turn, help us attain our goals and wishes.
Ownership, thus, has a powerful effect on the earth and the
people around us as it enables us to fulfill our mission on
this planet.
It is best to consider the things we own as loans.
So, we must
take care of these things and make sure that
they are actually serving our needs on this journey of life.
Non-attachment or aparigraha (a Sanskrit word for
non-possession and non-greed) is an important quality to
cultivate in our lives.
We must remember this while acquiring ownership of homes,
cars, clothes, jewellery, books, digital equipment and other
worldly objects.
The biggest mistake we make when we acquire all that we
strive for
with hard work is that we forget to enjoy it!
Don’t make that mistake.
Enjoy your things; you deserve it. Enjoy it without
attachment, without
greed, and without boastfulness or ungratefulness!
You deserve to own some of the earth’s wealth.
Work hard and enjoy it! |
|
# # # |
3 TIPS ON HOW TO RECHARGE YOUR HOME
AND WORKSPACE |
|
April 21, 2024 |
Put
the focus on joy: Look around your room, look at the
thing, the object or the piece of art that makes you happy
and joyful, and move it into a central position in your
room.
Allow for spontaneity: Our energies are always changing, and
we should feel free to move little things in and out of our
work and our home spaces.
Let it reflect
you: Take a
moment to make sure that your
space is resonating with your current energy at that
particular
point in time.
It
is an underappreciated fact that spaces have a profound
effect on us. Whether it is our mood, our psyche or our
drive—the aura of the space we are in has the potential to
help us or hinder us.
Ourspace can make our tasks feel inspired or make them
feel like a chore.
Luckily, small changes can have a big impact on how our
surroundings affect us.
We don’t need to reinvent the wheel every time we struggle
to adjust to the aura of our home or workspace—a few
thoughtful flourishes are enough to bring the space closer
to how we want it to be at
any given time.
Early in 2021, I was transitioning from my Manhattan
townhouse
to my home in the country, Ledgewood.
While packing, I found that over twenty-five years of living
in the same townhouse had produced a collection of too many
paintings, objets d’art, furniture, clothes, crockery and
silverware!
Instead of it being a liberating experience, my impending
move was becoming an overdrawn battle of dealing with things
that had lost their relevance to me years ago.
On the advice of an interior designer friend, Gilbert
Holmes,
I took up the mantra: ‘Declutter, Declutter, Declutter.’
So, a tonne of things were sent to several charities for
redistribution
among those who needed them the most. Perfect! What a great
sense
of joy and relief!
Decluttering is freeing as we let go of what no longer
serves our
needs in our current stage of life!
We need to surround ourselves only with things that serve
our
current energy.
Furthermore, don’t underestimate the importance of having
some emptiness.
Thoughts need some empty walls and spaces so the good ideas
can incubate and take flight. Get rid of things!
Let others enjoy them; it’s okay. Just do what keeps you
happily charged and motivated to get your work done!
It’s also important to not forget the unseen dimension of
the
aura.
The thing I do most often is that I light a scented candle,
in every room each day.
I use my own Giving Candle, and it changes the energy—after
all, it has herbs and flowers of my choosing, which I
prepared while
I meditated on the aroma—and is an extraordinarily
transformative
tool to have in the house.
I also add a little spray of the Giving fragrance on the
crown
chakra and in front of the yoga mat before yoga practice or
my
daily meditation.
The three key herbs chamomile, rosemary and basil are
excellent for cleansing and purifying!
Let’s give the best to ourselves and our spaces as we live
fully
each day of our lives!
|
|
# # # |
|
3 TIPS ON BEING A GOOD LEADER |
|
April 14, 2024 |
|
|
Be
compassionate: Compassion is the emotional trait that
enables managers to become strong leaders.
Deliver on your promises: Never disappoint those
who work under you.
Lead by example: Encourage cooperation, giving back and
love in your team. Don’t forget to lead by example!
Aleader
is someone who can direct human efforts in the best possible
direction to achieve the best possible outcome.
A leader looks at the pros and cons of a situation as well
as the different ways of accomplishing goals, and should
effectively
communicate these to the team.
Therefore, strong analytical skills and
a process that the team can understand well are important.
As a leader, I never ask anyone to do anything I would not
do myself.
If I ask for something to be done—I am 100 per cent
responsible if something goes wrong, having directed this
action.
It’s also important to compensate everyone involved fairly,
and
reward them by telling the team or person what they did
right along
with monetary compensation.
Finally, stay on the project until it is done, because as a
leader,
there might be challenges that need answers that only you
can provide!
Above all, when you select
people to work for you, trust them!
When I think of leadership in my own life, my thoughts go
back
to my earlier experiences of leadership in Mumbai at the St.
Anne’s
High School at Fort, and at The Cathedral and John Connon
School.
At both schools, I was elected the head girl of the student
council
and then, at the University of Delhi, I was elected the Vice
President
and
President
of JMC (Jesus and Mary College).
I always thought of leadership as a service. For me, it was
a way
to use my skills and my ‘ins’ with the college
administration to solve
problems for other people who are of my age, or to put
forward ideas
they might be passionate about.
Being a leader was a joy as I loved
interacting
with all kinds of people, understanding their different
points of view and finding solutions to their problems.
I would sit in the JMC canteen, eating my chana bhatura and
drinking karak chai, listening to things that were going on
in college,
or in other colleges and in the lives of others.
If someone needed something done, they knew I was just an ear away and
always happy to help optimize a situation, if it fell within
my value system.
I held up certain values of honesty, integrity and rightful
living,
which basically meant not hurting another human, and no one
could
sway me from my principles.
This quality of keeping true to one’s inner compass that I
developed
at JMC in Delhi and imbibed from the nuns has literally taken me through
life, keeping me ‘on course’ during many
challenging moments!
|
|
# # # |
3 TIPS ON TRYING TO MAKE A TRAVEL OR
SCHEDULING DECISION |
|
April 7, 2024 |
|
|
Schedule
correctly: When you hear the proposed date of travel,
ask yourself whether it sounds comfortable or stressful.
Be flexible: If the date of travel sounds stressful and unaligned
with current happenings, reschedule!
Prioritize: Ask yourself whether you really need this trip or
not. Can the same thing be accomplished by phone or video
conference? Prioritize time.
Travel
has been one of the definitive factors in my life, just as
it is in the lives of millions. It is how I gain a deeper
understanding of the world and its many glorious cultures,
languages and people.
My travel experiences have always been a source of great joy
and learning to me. No matter the original purpose of each
trip, I always try to make the most of it by trying
something new, visiting family, or meeting an old friend
along the way.
Adopting a multitasking mindset also helps you adopt a
mindset of flexibility.
By structuring your time, this rule can be applied to
so many other aspects of your life.
However, like anything else, too much travel is not a good
idea.
I wrote down these tips before most travel came to a
grinding halt
at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I was starting to feel the stress of traveling constantly
and it was becoming very unsettling.
It’s not like I had much of a choice in the matter either.
My three children were studying in London, Rhode Island and
Washington, DC, while I was living between Hong Kong and
India, managing home and the demands of a married life, and
running the Giving Back Foundation.
It was a thinly spread existence!
I was caught in a cycle of planning, packing, traveling, arriving,
unpacking, attending meetings or meeting family, packing for
the trip back, and repeating each step all over again.
It was very exhausting, important as it was, and joyful as I
could see
and guide my children!
My takeaway from these years of extensive travel was simple:
if
you don’t absolutely need to take the trip, try to find a
solution by
videoconferencing.
If you are too busy, find another date to travel.
Finally, when you do decide to take the trip, pack calmly,
meditate on the plane and enjoy the trip.
If you are going to go the mile anyway,
you might as well enjoy the trip!
|
|
# # # |
3 TIPS ON HOW TO RECHARGE YOUR HOME
AND WORKSPACE |
|
March 31, 2024 |
|
|
Put
the focus on joy: Look around your room, look at the
thing, the object or the piece of art that makes you happy
and joyful, and move it into a central position in your
room.
Allow for spontaneity: Our energies are always changing, and
we should feel free to move little things in and out of our
work and our home spaces.
Let it reflect
you: Take
a moment to make sure that your
space is resonating with your current energy at that
particular
point in time.
It is an underappreciated fact that spaces have a profound
effect on us. Whether it is our mood, our psyche or our
drive—the aura of the space we are in has the potential to
help us or hinder us.
Our space can make our tasks feel inspired or make them feel
like a chore.
Luckily, small changes can have a big impact on how our
surroundings affect us.
We don’t need to reinvent the wheel every time we struggle
to adjust
to the aura of our home or workspace—a few thoughtful flourishes are
enough to bring the space closer to how we want it to be at
any given time.
Early in 2021, I was transitioning from my Manhattan
townhouse
to my home in the country, Ledgewood.
While packing, I found that over twenty-five years of living
in the same townhouse had produced a collection of too many
paintings, objets d’art, furniture, clothes, crockery and
silverware!
Instead of it being a liberating experience, my impending
move was becoming an overdrawn battle of dealing with things
that had lost their relevance to me years ago.
On the advice of an interior designer friend, Gilbert
Holmes,
I took up the mantra: ‘Declutter, Declutter, Declutter.’
So, a tonne of things were sent to several charities for
redistribution
among those who needed them the most. Perfect!
What a great sense of joy and relief!
Decluttering is freeing as we let go of what no longer
serves our
needs in our current stage of life!
We need to surround ourselves only with things that serve
our
current energy.
Furthermore, don’t underestimate the importance of
having some emptiness.
Thoughts need some empty walls and spaces so the good ideas
can incubate and take flight.
Get rid of things! Let others enjoy them; it’s okay.
Just do what keeps you happily charged and motivated
to get your work done!
It’s also important to not forget the unseen dimension of
the aura.
The thing I do most often is that I light a scented candle,
in every room each day.
I use my own Giving Candle, and it changes the energy—
after all, it has herbs and flowers of my choosing, which I
prepared while I meditated on the aroma—and is an
extraordinarily transformative tool to have in the house.
I also add a little spray of the Giving fragrance on the
crown
chakra and in front of the yoga mat before yoga practice or
my
daily meditation.
The three key herbs chamomile, rosemary and basil are
excellent for cleansing and purifying!
Let’s give the best to ourselves and our spaces as we live
fully
each day of our lives!
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3 TIPS ON OWNERSHIP |
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March 24, 2024 |
Ownership
is a myth: While we are on this planet, we have to
understand that we never really own anything, not even real
estate. When we pass away, we leave it all behind.
Ownership is transient: We have to understand that our
belongings are loaned to us by the universe to enhance our
lives, and so, we should cherish the things we have.
Welcome joy, not stress: We should not be attached to
things.
We should enjoy our belongings as their purpose is to bring
joy into our lives and not stress.
Let’s
examine our relationship to material things.
We own things because they connect us to people, to places,
to life experiences. They provide shelter, safety and enable
us to take care of ourselves and accomplish whatever goals
we set out to accomplish.
These things are useful while we are alive, but we must
always remember that the minute we die, they are of no
use to us whatsoever.
The ownership of things gives us a sense of status and
safety. This, in turn, help us attain our goals and wishes.
Ownership, thus, has a powerful effect on the earth and the
people around us as it enables us to fulfill our mission on
this planet.
It is best to consider the things we own as loans. So, we
must
take care of these
things and make sure that they are actually serving
our needs on this journey of life.
Non-attachment or aparigraha (a Sanskrit word for
non-possession and non-greed) is an important quality to
cultivate in our lives.
We must remember this while acquiring ownership of homes,
cars, clothes, jewellery, books, digital equipment and other
worldly objects.
The biggest mistake we make when we acquire all that we
strive for
with hard work is that we forget to enjoy it!
Don’t make that mistake.
Enjoy your things; you deserve it. Enjoy it without
attachment,
without greed, and without boastfulness or ungratefulness!
You deserve to own some of the earth’s wealth.
Work hard and enjoy it! |
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3 TIPS ON BEING A GOOD LEADER |
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March 17, 2024 |
Be
compassionate: Compassion is the emotional trait that
enables managers to become strong leaders.
Deliver on your promises: Never disappoint those
who work under you.
Lead by example: Encourage cooperation, giving back and
love in your team. Don’t forget to lead by example!
Aleader
is someone who can direct human efforts in the best possible
direction to achieve the best possible outcome.
A leader looks at the pros and cons of a situation as well
as the different ways of accomplishing goals, and should
effectively
communicate these to the team.
Therefore, strong analytical skills and a process that the
team
can understand well are important.
As a leader, I never ask anyone to do anything I would not
do myself.
If I ask for something to be done—I am 100 per cent
responsible
if something goes wrong, having directed this action.
It’s also important to compensate everyone involved fairly,
and
reward them by telling the team or person what they did
right along
with monetary compensation.
Finally, stay on the project until it is done, because as a
leader,
there might be challenges that need answers that only you
can provide!
Above all, when you select people to work for you, trust
them!
When I think of leadership in my own life, my thoughts go
back
to my earlier experiences of leadership in Mumbai at the St.
Anne’s
High School at Fort, and at The Cathedral and John Connon
School.
At both schools, I was elected the head girl of the student
council
and then, at the University of Delhi, I was elected the Vice
President
and President of
JMC (Jesus and Mary College).
I always thought of leadership as a service. For me, it was
a way
to use my skills and my ‘ins’ with the college
administration to solve
problems for other people who are of my age, or to put
forward ideas
they might be passionate about.
Being a leader was a joy as I loved interacting with all
kinds of people, understanding their different points of
view and finding solutions
to their problems.
I would sit in the JMC canteen, eating my chana bhatura and
drinking karak chai, listening to things that were going on
in college,
or in other colleges and in the lives of others.
If someone needed something done, they knew I was just an
ear away and always happy to help optimize a situation, if
it fell within
my value system.
I held up certain values of honesty, integrity and rightful
living,
which basically meant not hurting another human, and no one
could
sway me from my principles.
This quality of keeping true to one’s inner compass that I
developed at JMC in Delhi and imbibed from the nuns has
literally taken me through life, keeping me ‘on course’
during many
challenging moments! |
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3 TIPS ON TRYING TO MAKE A TRAVEL OR
SCHEDULING DECISION |
|
March 10, 2024 |
Schedule
correctly: When you hear the proposed date of travel,
ask yourself whether it sounds comfortable or stressful.
Be flexible: If the date of travel sounds stressful and unaligned
with current happenings, reschedule!
Prioritize: Ask yourself whether you really need this trip or
not. Can the same thing be accomplished by phone or video
conference? Prioritize time.
Travel
has been one of the definitive factors in my life, just as
it is in the lives of millions. It is how I gain a deeper
understanding of the world and its many glorious cultures,
languages and people.
My travel experiences have always been a source of great joy
and learning to me. No matter the original purpose of
each trip, I always try to make the most of it by trying
something
new, visiting family, or meeting an old friend along the
way.
Adopting a multitasking mindset also helps you adopt a
mindset of flexibility.
By structuring your time, this rule can be applied to so
many other
aspects of your life.
However, like anything else, too much travel is not a good
idea.
I wrote down these tips before most travel came to a
grinding halt
at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I was starting to feel the stress of traveling constantly
and it was becoming very unsettling.
It’s not like I had much of a choice in the matter either.
My three children were studying in London, Rhode Island and
Washington, DC, while I was living between Hong Kong and
India, managing home and the demands of a married life, and
running the Giving Back Foundation.
It was a thinly spread existence! I was caught in a cycle of
planning,
packing, travelling, arriving, unpacking, attending meetings
or meeting
family, packing for the trip back, and repeating each step
all over again.
It was very exhausting, important as it was, and joyful as I
could see
and guide my children!
My takeaway from these years of extensive travel was simple:
if
you don’t absolutely need to take the trip, try to find a
solution
by videoconferencing.
If you are too busy, find another date to travel.
Finally, when you do decide to take the trip, pack calmly,
meditate on the plane and enjoy the trip.
If you are going to go the mile anyway,
you might as well enjoy the trip!
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# # # |
3TIPS TO ACCOMPLISH AND SUCCEED IN
YOUR WORK LIFE |
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March 3, 2024 |
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Do your best:
Perform any task you are doing to the very
best of your ability. With determination, you will be able
to
accomplish any task and any goal.
Don’t hurt others: Do not accomplish things at the cost of
anyone in the short or long run. Accomplishing things to the
detriment of others will inhibit your ability to be truly
successful
in the long run.
Believe in your work: Believe in what you are doing.
Self confidence is essential to accomplishing a goal
successfully.
Success
is seen as the measure of one’s will. Those with the
strongest will and the dedication to back it succeed. But is
that all there is to it?
I think there is an even simpler definition.
The formula to becoming an accomplished person is simple.
Perform your work to the best of your ability in every given
moment.
That’s it! Nothing more is needed!
I remember attending a sewing class at the Convent of Jesus
and
Mary School in Delhi. I was six years old, and was working
on the
embroidery for a tea cosy. I was painstakingly sewing in the
outline
of the red flowers in ‘chain stitch’ and filling the petals
in
to give the teacher.
Before I knew it, the bell rang and my neighbour said,
‘Oops!
You did not finish the green stems! We were supposed to have
all that
done. The teacher will be so mad at you!’
I was nervous as I took my work up to the needlework
teacher’s
desk. She looked at my embroidery and said, ‘This is
flawless.’
She held it up to the class and said, ‘Look at this example
of neat work.
All of you should talk less and focus on doing such
beautiful work.’
‘But I did not get to the green stems,’ I said softly.
‘Yes, I see that,’ said the teacher kindly. ‘You will have
to come
in five minutes early for the next class, missing five
minutes of break
time, so that you can get this done.’
She was smiling. ‘But your work is excellent,’ she added.
This is one of my earliest memories of being commended
for my work.
I understood the power of excellence and enjoyed the feeling
of doing my best and knowing that it was the way forward.
While working hard on our personal goals, we have to believe
in them and accomplish them without hurting anyone—even
ourselves—in the
process. These ideas have led many great people to
accomplish their
ideas with ease and success.
When I think about success, I remember the cycling race
organized
by the Jaycee Committee in 1978. I was then a teenager in
Mumbai.
I loved bicycling and wanted to take part in the amateur cycling race,
which was to start at the Flora restaurant in Worli and end
at the
Oberoi Hotel at Nariman Point.
I told my parents that I wanted to participate and they said
that I had to practice the route and work hard if I wanted
to succeed.
I wanted to accomplish more than just finishing the race;
I wanted to win the race.
My father said he would help me. Every morning, at 5 a.m.,
he would drive me and my bike to the Flora restaurant and I
would get down with my bike and ride the route; my father
would drive the car alongside, encouraging me.
On the day of the race, I felt strong and calm. I had worked
hard and
was excited about the race. The race flagged off and I
started cycling.
I gave it my best and kept going strong.
As I was biking, I could hear people cheering along the
roadside. I realized they were cheering me on as I was ahead
in the race.
I was the leader and quite a bit ahead of the other
cyclists. I kept on giving it my best shot and soon saw the
finish line ribbon, and crossed it. It felt so good that I
had won the race and that my hard work
had paid off.
I was just fifteen and I could see the joy and pride on the
faces of my parents and my younger brother and sister. I
went to hug and thank my father for waking up so early every
day—before his long day of work—to help me practise for this
race!
When the time came for the medals to be presented, I
received
a terrible blow. I was told that I was disqualified since I
was not an
‘amateur’ cyclist.
They said that I came in three kilometres ahead of the girl
who came in second; there was no way I was an amateur!
The girl who finished second was the daughter of someone in
the Jaycee
Committee, and it seemed like they used the ‘not amateur’
argument
as an excuse to disqualify me.
I was very disappointed, and even more so for having seen
the sadness in my father’s eyes. It crushed me.
I did not mind my hard work being in vain, but my father had
woken
up each day with so much love and dedication. It was unfair
and that
moment hurt me more than anything in life.
When we got home, my father called me and said, ‘You are a
champion in my eyes. We are
so proud of you! You won the race and
were successful and no one can take that away from you!’
His words have stayed with me. Isn’t it worth more than any
medal?
This incident taught me the meaning of success. I learnt to
ascertain
what success means to me and that I don’t have to prove
anything to anyone.
The feeling of knowing that I have done my best and
succeeded
is the best and truest feeling of success!
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3 TIPS ON HARD WORK |
|
February 25, 2024 |
Hard
work creates accomplishments: Hard work initially feels
difficult, but through hard work we can accomplish much; and
accomplishment itself is joy.
We must work hard: Through hard work we learn that we are
competent and able, and can handle anything.
Hard work connects us: Know that accomplishment at an
individual level is connected to accomplishment on a
universal
level. We are connected to the universe through our hard
work. In turn, it connects us to the universal energy on
earth. |
In turn, it connects
us to the universal energy on earth.
‘Work
is love made visible,’ said Kahlil Gibran, and these words
have held true in my own life. When I understood that my
individual effort is definitely connected to accomplishment
on a universal level, it gave me faith and confidence. I was
able to understand that we are not alone in our endeavors.
Many other forces—visible and invisible—are supporting
our efforts. Is this not a powerful piece of knowledge to
keep in our
minds as we give our all to the work we undertake?
The harder we work, the more competent we become, and the
more knowledge we gain. This makes hard work easier and
easier
over time.
These are gained skills we can pass on to the younger
generations so they may accomplish the same tasks with
greater ease.
We also know that we will
have newer technologies at hand, taking
the planet’s accomplishments to a higher degree of
sophistication and
complexity, while making the task easier to accomplish.
This is, after all, how we evolve. This is the story of
evolution!
I remember that for a time during my childhood we lived in
Pune,
at the Indian Institute of Armament Technology campus.
My fatherhad found a spot on the Khadakwasla Lake, and grown
fond of takinga small boat out every evening. Then,
he had a
small jetty built.
Every day after his office closed, my father would go there
to oversee the
construction. Many days after school, I would be on the
waterfront,
watching the digging and building as the marina took shape.
It was soon named ‘The Naval Experimental Bay’ and today, an
expanded
version of the same stands proudly, with boats docking on it
and several
events being held there. It was, and is, a product of hard
work and one
man’s vision. Thus, at the young age of seven
I learnt that if you think
of something, you can certainly do it.
Hard work and perseverance are the only things we need
to accomplish it all!
Accomplishment is joy and happiness, and together they are
the
reason why we are on this planet. Therefore, hard work that
can benefit
others as well as ourselves is a very important part of our
journey on
earth. Think of it as fun and it will be fun, think of it as
easy and it
will be easy, just ascertain whether it’s useful or not
and then proceed accordingly!
Here’s to hard work and joyfulness! |
“We are to the Universe only
as much as we give back to it.”
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"Reach for the
moon because we all can"
Meera Gandhi |
3 TIPS ON HOW TO GET THE BEST OUT OF
YOUR EDUCATION |
|
February 18, 2024 |
Write clearly: Learn
to be direct and forthright while writing.
Express yourself convincingly: Learn to make readers
truly understand.
Think analytically: Develop critical thinking skills. By thinking
critically, one can weigh options sensibly and make the best
decision for oneself and others in
every
situation.
Education
is the gift of information that is passed down to us
from
other people’s experiences.
We get this informational input so we can use it as a
springboard, utilizing this treasure trove of knowledge we
don’t have to labor to learn first-hand. Once I understood
this, I started learning with gusto, knowing that all this
knowledge was a gift that was going to make my life easier,
and my choices more informed.
I also hoped that it would help me find the answers to some
of the
existential questions posed by my soul from time to time.
Throughout their childhood and even later, I encouraged my
three children to love learning. School and college can be a
very happy time in life, and I
always communicated this to my children by being present at
all school
events and making their school and college life a top
priority. A love
for learning is key to growth and a calm, successful life!
Armed with education, we have
to add our unique thinking to the
mix and express our thoughts clearly—in speech and
writing—and
also think analytically while listening to our
consciousness, the best
guide. Utilizing information provided by our education,
enables us to
glide through life, making good decisions for ourselves and
others and
creating win-win outcomes for all!
Although learning is a lifelong enterprise, the thought of
education
takes me back to my own years at school.
My family moved a lot due to my father’s work, and we kept shuttling
across three major cities in India—Pune, Mumbai and Delhi. I
studied at St. Anne’s in Pune, then the Convent of Jesus and
Mary in Delhi.
When we moved to Mumbai,
I went to St. Anne’s in Fort, Mumbai, and then The Cathedral
and
John Connon School for my high school years.
Each of these formative school years stressed on clear
writing skills, but Cathedral in Mumbai really taught me how
to express myself convincingly. Debate and elocution are
taken seriously at Cathedral!
At the United World College, I learnt how to make decisions
that had a positive impact on the entire community of
students.
The clear ideology of win-win was instilled in me at the
United
World College. Later, I went to Boston University where I
got my MBA
and learned more sophisticated analytical skills.
My journey of learning didn’t stop there as every day brings
forth a teaching moment. We just have to be aware of what we
are learning, from where and from whom, so that we can
utilize those skills when the right time comes. |
"Grow
wings...Fly towards your dreams...
The Universe will support
you"
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# # # |
February
9, 2024 |
3 TIPS TO BRING
LOVE AND KEEP LOVE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Let things pass: Forgive and forget small things,
even if they have hurt you momentarily.
Love without expectations: Love unconditionally and love without expecting
anything in return.
Take a walk in nature: Try to take a walk with a person you love.
The stability of nature cements the bonds of love.
The primary reason people are hurt when they are in love is
that they expect the other person to be just like them.
Love is a powerful connector and once in love, two people
begin to vibrate on a similar frequency; they even begin to
think similar thoughts as they share unique life experiences
together.
The problems start with expectations.
Each expects the other to be able to think their thoughts
and feel all their feelings.
These expectations become too much, and soon the love begins
to wane.
Love is something that changes our body’s chemical
composition.
One has to enjoy the moment, and the flurry of the serotonin
flowing through the body.
You need not worry about tomorrow or what will happen!
The beauty of love is that it works only as long as it
generates the chemicals necessary for both parties.
When it doesn’t do so, other wonderful things can be
accomplished together. However, wanting love to remain
static is not realistic and this expectation sets people up
for sadness unnecessarily.
I think forgiveness, walking together in nature and no
expectations are the three pillars that can keep love alive |
|
Meera is the
author of 3 Tips: The Essentials for Peace, Joy and Success;
and the host of the successful Instagram series 3 Tips and
The Meera Gandhi Show on B4U Network. Her latest media
project is the wellness themed 3 Tips by Meera Gandhi
Podcast. |
www.3tips.org
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Click here
for Meera Gandhi Main Page |
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